it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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