Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
