i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
When did we convert life to cartoon?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
