p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
