i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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