Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I deserve this hangover.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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