i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
