Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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