Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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