we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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