Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
i think im in europe. pls send help
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