All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
