and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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