I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
