I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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