Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
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I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
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I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
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