I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize