We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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