your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
