We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
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I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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