I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
