Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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