dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
She announced her abortion via fbk
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Randomize
