Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
