oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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