She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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