So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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