what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
