we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
