after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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