nut hugger
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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