Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
