My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
