Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
