Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
