do herpes really smell.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
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officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
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Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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