My friends, they love my intelligence
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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