blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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