I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
