listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
so let's talk penis.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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