I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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