I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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