sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
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Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
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At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
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