Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
