This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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