I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
