Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
