Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize