the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize