you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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