sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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