Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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