Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Randomize
