are you so shy because you have an std?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
