I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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