I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
