you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
