is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
