IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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