I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
In America we eat man semen.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
